If someone you know gets pregnant, do NOT under ANY circumstances:

1) say things like "Don't you KNOW how this happens?" It hurts. I don't care if you say it the funniest way imaginable, it really hurts.

2) say "Don't you know what birth control is?" see above.

3) say things like "WOW you're just popping them out huh?"

4) say things like "Well are you going to get your tubes tied THIS time?"

5) be negative in any way. A pregnancy is a big deal. A mama needs support, reguardless of if it's her first, third or fifteenth child. You don't have to buy a gift, you don't have to do anything extrodinary. Just *try* to be positive, even if the pregnancy was unplanned. There's just no good reason to throw stuff in a pregnant mamas face, especially considering she's probably already thought of most of it within the first 15 seconds of realizing the test was possibly going to be positive.

DO:

1) offer a congrats, a hug if you're close.

2) be polite, stay out of private issues unless you're REALLY close to this person and you know she wants to talk about it.

3) do offer support. The unexpected pregnancy is just as special as the planned one, just took two different roads to get to the same spot.

4) do smile.. an "OMG This is so wrong" stare is just so rude.

Yeah so.. my sister found out.. long story as to how but she did, and she pretty much did all of the above in the "Don't" section. I'm really hurt. Hurt not only because of her reaction but hurt because I know my mom's reaction will be 20 times worse.

I know we don't agree. Whoever is reading this may not agree.. but 5 kids or not, I DO take care of my kids. My kids DO have stuff, not as much as some kids, but I put my kids first. I DO believe in big families. Most large familes that I've known tend to be really happy and close knit. It doesn't *always* go that way, but so far mine is, so why stop a good thing?

I really want to find a hole and cry... and cradle this not yet bloated belly. It makes me so sad that other people can't be happy when I'm happy. I see it as God has blessed me with this child, why do others see the need to tell me I should ignore/get rid of/cancel out His blessings?

"but look at all the babies that aren't cared for in this world, why did God give them to those mamas that don't care" Because God wanted them to care.. because God gives us the the gift of the mind, to make choices, to choose between right and wrong.

Maybe I'm not right. Maybe I shouldn't have a big family.. maybe I shouldn't have gotten pregnant with the problems dh and I are having.. but then again..

Religiously I do not believe in birth control.

I didn't feel right denying dh of sex, and honestly, how many relationships survive when there are problems and the woman uses sex as a control issue?

I went against my beliefs so far as to tell dh when I was ovulating (or thought I was, appearently I ovulate sooner or longer than I thought) and also told him on several occasions if he wanted to use condoms I wouldn't stop him.

Where was I wrong?

I'm pregnant, I'm tired and I'm stressed out, not because I'm pregnant but because once again I seek apporval from those around me and it hurts when it doesn't happen.

I'm pregnant.. now someone tell them to get over it already!!