I thought I'd talk about a few of my beliefs, ideas etc. It's a really personal subject for me. I don't go into my religion to say who's right or wrong, I'm not trying to convert anyone or even point fingers. This is me, this is the same person you talk to on a regular basis, or maybe you've never talked to me at all. Either way.. I ask you to be open minded and respectful, as I intend to do the same.. on the same note, if you have any questions, please ask and not assume. =O)

I am Methodist (Lutheran), formerly Taoist, formerly Baptist.

Submission in marriage:

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as the to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. " Ephesians 5:21

I can hear some of you scream from here. =O)

Yes.. this is how ty and I have been doing things for a while now. He is the head of our family. He makes the final decisions on most everything, though I DO have say so, but my thoughts, suggestions etc are taken into account, while he makes the final decisions.

Now.. That's not all their is. He has to treat us right also. It's not a deal where he can starve us, or we can't have anything.. he can't EVER hit me, or be disrespectful. Read on.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. to make her holy, cleansing her by washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, butt holy and blameless. In this way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but he feeds and takes care for it, just as Christ does the Church-for we are members of his body." Ephesians 5:22-30

So.. just as I am supposed to honor and respect my husband, he is to do the same to me.

Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I want to buy something we don't need and ty says.. not right now. I can think of 3 times that's happened.. all three times we really didn't have the money.

Ty is not a bossy kind of guy.. a lot of things that I do for him I do because I want to, or because I think it would be nice to do. (fixing him something to drink, cooking when he's home at lunch vs fixing our daily "big meal" for supper while he's at work) ironing his clothes etc. He takes care of the bills, and then he gives me money for groceries and so forth. Before you totally freak.. I get about $200 a week for groceries, gas for my car (I only need one tank every 2 weeks) and whatever else I want to buy for me and the girls. He gets $60 a week, $40 of which is for gas (he has a 1.5 hr commute and a shoddy car). I have the "good car" so that we are safe. I can come and go as I please, the only "restrictions" we have is we don't "hang out" with the opposite sex.. um I can't really think of much else.. there are things he likes me to do but so far nothing super "big" has come up decision wise. I guess a good example would be moving.. if ty said, We should move to xyz land I can say "I don't want to because" and he keeps that in mind as the final decision.

Things like this happen all the time in a marriage. It's all about trust. I feel if I can't fully and completely trust my husband then there is no real marriage, no real commitment. In this way I can leave things to ty, while I take care of the babies and the homefront. For us, we have a totally different relationship. We don't fight like we used to.. I don't hold grudges that I didn't "get my way" like before. Now he can show me how much he loves me without having to prove himself top dog. For us it has made us grow in so many ways.

I think the most important thing is that I went into a marriage with someone who I can trust.. it was just a matter of me letting myself trust. I was raised with women's rights, don't let a man tie you down, don't be barefoot and pregnant.. and now that's almost my ideal. lol!

Those that know me probably don't list "weakling" as one o my strong points. Submission take a lot of trust and self control, and it's definitely NOT the way to go for every couple. For us, it feels like the right way to go, so this is the direction we took.

So that's the submission part. Next entry will be about the quiver full, how I changed and where my ideas came from.