Lesson of the day. Do not EVER send your dh, SO, anything with a penis attached to it, to buy a vacuum. That is unless he happens to be of the domestic type, and then be wary. VERY wary.

The two most common types of the male species are the Megamanistics and the Cheapomarados. These two can be dangerous in any sort of shopping, but home appliences tend to be the worst area.

The Megamanistics are very eagar to please their wives and family. They go out, shop around, and pick the biggest, heaviest, highest amped vacuum they can find. They chose a vacuum cleaner that is so strong it's guranteed to suck the carpet right off the floor, and has a written warning sticker that says "Do not use in households with small children or pets. User should not be under the influence of medications or alcohol during use. Users of this product must be at least 200 lbs." These guys really mean well, but need some guidance as to exactly what his wife wants. Eventually, they get it right.

Then there are the Cheapotomatics, who never seem to get it right. It doesn't matter if you tell them the store, the brand, the make, model number etc, they'll bring home the cheapest vacuum they can find, and claim they got a better deal. Mind you, they don't comparison shop between stores, nor do they watch the sales papers. They walk into SuperKmart and see "Shittiest brand on the market, on clearance, and STILL can't sell it for $5 bucks" and they RUN for it. They bring it home all proud and show how well it works, brag about the savings and so on, while the wife fumes and the kids hid in their bedroom in fear of a mother induced earthquake/tornado combination. These men should be left right where they are. Don't even bother with the first date. If he does happen to pick up the tab because you head for the door first, he'll make sure to make a second date, with you paying, just to cut even.

My dh is the later. In fact, right after the old vacuum died out, I asked him to go buy me a decent vacuum. He did just that. He brought home this hand held thing that PLUGS IN (my god, couldn't even get a cordless one!!) and has a "upright vac" stand, which allows one to place the hand held vac in the stand and run it over the carpet by the handle while pretending it's doing something more than saying "BOO" to the dustbunnies. This thing didn't pick up SHIT. And, to make the matters worse, Ohhhh lala it was on SALE at walmart. Go figure. $33.00 for a kiddie vac. It LOOKS like a kiddie vac. In fact the handle retracts into the the upright piece and it fits my 2 yo just perfectly. Other than the electrocution hazards, you'd think it was a toy.

So, I suffered. About 3 weeks later he goes out and buys a palm pilot. That outright pisses me off. 1) he said it would cost about 80. 2) He spent 33.00 on my shit vac. 3) he spent 160.00. 3) he spent 33 on my shit vac. 4) he spent 33 on my shit vac.

I don't mind the fact that he spent so much on *his* toy, but dear God in Heavens, couldn't he buy his hard working house wife a vacuum worth using?? So today, I spent $100 on a GOOD vac. I say good cause it rocks. Really. Wasn't to expensive either. There is a huge cup thingy that catches all the dirt since it's bagless, and by just vac'ing the living room I filled it halfway up. No lie! That was DIRT people! Not trash on the floor. *sigh* Someone come beat dh in the head please?

Really though. Try my Vac test and I promise you'll find the right guy. Many many people could be saved from future divorce with the Vacuum Cleaner Buying test.

Really. I think I'm going to vaccum something again.. that was fun!