So to start at the begining.. Things hadn't been "great" between us, ty had a hissy fit, left, came back the next day, said he wanted a divorce, was going to leave etc etc.. never left, lots of arguments, 3rd counseling session later, now he says he'll try, we'll see, etc. My marriage has been taken away, the one who said he loved me now says he lied, doesn't want to be a husband, a father, a lover.. he needs things for himself, he needs to "heal" etc etc. Meanwhile he has set a path of distruction and hurt everyone that loves him because of his selfish self centered narrsissic decisions.

I sound a little cold? I feel it. Then again, what would you expect after being dumped with 4 kids to care for and then be told that it's all YOUR fault that the husband wants to leave, then again that it's not your fault, it's his, and he wants to leave to make things better etc etc etc.. and in the mist of all this talk, he never does anything. Nothing at all.

Long story short, dh is now on meds, I'm wishing I were on meds and nothing has changed yet everything is different.

So.. that's my opening entry, I'll start day by day in the next page.